Illustration: Lia Popaz
How to make friends as a young adult (don’t try this at home)
By: Lia Popaz
2/4/2026
Here you are, at the dusk of the latest chapter of your life, where you just got into a new school, found a new workplace, or even moved to a new city or country. What else is there to this challenge?
Once you’re done with the first adrenaline rush and bureaucratic arrangements, the realisation of you being in a completely new place comes and just sits there, waiting for you to do something about it. And as they say, ‘if it rhymes, it must be true’.
Breathe in, you’re here, yet you have no clue
How to make the new place feel less than new.
Learn how to mingle, blend, and adapt,
There’s loads to be felt, to be seen and unwrapped.
The first thing that you need to do is to let things happen: if you get invited to a party by a stranger, go! If you want to initiate something, go ahead; maybe ask for help and try to be kind in all those scenarios to all the actors, yourself included.
And once confirmed, that one invite
Some conversations might ignite,
Then you get an acquaintance,
And here starts the maintenance.
Once you’ve planted a friendship seed – follow up, cherish it, and ensure it’s getting enough attention. Not all friendships are low maintenance, especially at the start.
Speaking of friendships, you will lose some as you make new friends elsewhere. It’s not inevitable, but it might happen. Since you’re changing, your interests may change, and so will your surroundings and the people in it, and it’s ok. Those who truly want you in their life will try their best to keep you in it, and so will you, with those who you want around you.
But how’s dear old Ann? You used to keep in touch,
But now that you’ve moved, you don’t talk that much,
You promised you would call; then she wouldn’t take the phone,
Each of you decided that it’s something to postpone.
You can try to maintain the thread, but it can only survive if both parties want it. There is no tutorial on how to keep friends in this situation. Sometimes you just drift apart. You have different hobbies, interests, social circles, plans, and plants. In the meantime, when you need a friend, wherever you are, you can always find one, but you cannot do so from your couch, so get out of your house! You won’t find friends at home! Unless it’s a friend found online who doesn’t lie about their photo, gender, and age. 😉
Got an interest, a passion, a hobby?
Find like-minded people, and invite them for coffee.
In a park, in a library, on a bus or train,
Help the lost ones, share the local know-how brain.
Be available, listen, read the room,
And then witness a smile starting to bloom.
But, seriously, every walk and every shopping experience has the potential to produce a silly joke, a nice conversation, advice, or kindness. It’s like an easter egg: after finding it, you may feel that you have found something special, especially when the days are gloomy, but then you have a light shining through the day’s greyness from within.
But honestly, if you are a dog person, for instance, or even if you own a dog, you are so much more approachable already, and it applies the other way around as well, but always ask if you can pet someone’s puppy. Always!
But in general, listen to your interests and be guided by them toward someone who would gladly attend a workshop or class in cooking, gardening, or just go out for fika with you.
If you want friends who party – go to a club,
If you’re keen on football and beer – go to a pub.
Join a book club for reading, a gardening class for plants,
You will surely find someone there if you give them a chance.
It’s about sharing experiences and being yourself. It’s when you feel comfortable being goofy and silly that you can vent about something, or talk about a future project without fear of judgment, and that comes with time and with the right people.
