Photo: Julie Inksmith
By: Natalie Karimi
10th January 2023
Your eyes are like a whole universe waiting to be discovered. Galaxies of stars, comets and colors that form the pathway to your beautiful soul. Oh your soul, how I would love to know it. I will learn and discover, over and over, just to know you a little better, bit by bit. Your light shines brighter than the halo resting above God.
The way your dimples show when you smile, or the slight lift of your eyebrows when you recognize someone you haven’t seen in ages. When you place a hand on your hip and shift your weight to one leg whilst standing, mimicking something funny a stranger did. The color of your eyes are never the same as the last time I had seen them. In the light they are a caramel brown with a hint of mocha. Whereas in the dark they transform into a walnut nuance, encircling your dilated pupils. How your eyes magnify when you talk about the tattoos you want to get, or the future dog you want to adopt, and when you’re feeling sad, your eyelashes hide your eyes, shielding the world from the pain they carry. Eyes that can see your heart even when you do not want them to. I hope you see my eyes the way I see yours.
Your hands have a language of their own as you speak. A language I want to be fluent in. No dictionary in the world will help me translate the words you use with them. Lines that form the shapes of mountains in a desert, wrinkle their way on your palm. Sweat spreads on my skin when your fingers graze me, exposing the way my heart lights on fire like a burning house. To feel your touch on my skin when your lips used to brush against my cheek like ink on paper. Your touch activates my neurons, aggressively connecting and reconnecting, impulsively forming a life long memory.
A scent of jasmine that becomes my new oxygen takes over my lungs, whenever I am near you. That is probably one of the reasons why I quit smoking, to be able to inhale and fill my lungs up with the fruitiness and apricot smell of your perfume. I wish that your aroma would tattoo itself in my nose, that way I would have no choice but to smell your presence even when you are not around. A scent that makes a garden full of flowers seem dull. Fragrances of fresh avocado shampoo tangos through your hair after a shower, putting me in the most blissful daze. Your aroma that belongs to you and no other.
The taste of Hershey’s teases my tastebuds with every kiss. Sweetness like chocolate fondue with small pieces of strawberries is what I think of everytime your eyelashes tickle my lips. The warmth that spreads through me is as if I swallowed the galaxy and the sun has exploded in my mouth. A taste of comfort and belonging is what consumes me when I am embraced by you.
The harmony in your laugh forms a melody in my heart, starting a choir. An orchestra of violins, fiddles and harps play as background music to your voice when you feel relaxed. A voice that changes genres depending on your mood. Metal rock echoes through my ears whenever you are mad, but a waltz is on repeat when you feel joy. My favorite is when you are upset but say that you feel fine, that is when your voice booms with salsa music. I find a way to dance with ease to all your different genres.
I have slowly, but steadily fallen in a love that I didn’t know existed. God robbed us of our vows. The greatest robbery that has ever been committed of which no judicial system can provide justice for. A robber that has stolen white wedding gowns that soar through the air so wildly, like it has been holding its breath for its entire life, until worn by the right person. The greatest thief that loves us all, therefore provides valleys for us to explore. You are my valley. What do I do when God above has stolen my valley. My valley is overwhelmed with thorns that prick my heart like a needle sewing a dress. Canyons of holy water flood down my cheeks, threatening to summon a tsunami, making the God tremble and regret taking you away from me. I will never forget your tender smile, with your teeth showing, making other people’s smiles look like frowns. Your touch makes me feel like I am lying on rose petals on a lake, whereas your eyes make me feel seen even when I am camouflaged with the rest of the world. The taste of you awakens my taste buds as if they have been in a coma and the way you look at me, I will never forget. This world does not deserve you, Amare.